
Happiness is something we all seek in life, yet only one-third of Americans report feeling truly happy, according to the Survey of American Happiness. But why is it so challenging to find happiness? As I’ve delved into this topic, I’ve uncovered five truths about happiness that shed light on its elusive nature. In this article, we’ll explore these truths and understand why finding true happiness can be a complex journey. So, let’s dive in and unravel the realities behind the pursuit of happiness.
1. Some people actively seek happiness, while others create it themselves.
In today’s world, the pursuit of happiness can become a challenging task. Happiness, like any other emotion, is not something you acquire, but rather something you embody. When you feel angry, you don’t question whether you’re experiencing anger correctly – you simply feel it, and then it passes.
Just like a confident person doesn’t constantly question their own confidence, a happy person doesn’t constantly question their happiness – they simply are happy. What I’m trying to emphasize is that happiness is not something achieved in isolation, but rather a response to life experiences as a whole.
The problem arises when advertising campaigns portray happiness as the ultimate goal of everything we do. We’ve all seen those marketing messages before – “buy this product and you’ll be happy.” But we all know that happiness cannot be bought or achieved through external possessions. It happens when different aspects of our lives fall into place harmoniously.
2. Joy isn’t equivalent to delight
Many people mistakenly confuse happiness with temporary pleasures, such as indulging in expensive massages, good food, movies, or socializing with friends, thinking these experiences will bring lasting happiness. However, true happiness is not solely derived from momentary delights.
Research has shown that pursuing constant pleasure, especially materialistic pleasures, can actually result in higher levels of depression and anxiety. For instance, individuals who become addicted to drugs often experience the detrimental effects of solely chasing after pleasure, as their happiness becomes reliant on external substances or experiences. Moreover, studies have indicated that focusing solely on pleasure-seeking is inadequate for achieving lasting happiness in life.
In today’s consumer-driven society, we are often bombarded with messages that equate happiness with material possessions or external experiences. Advertisements may promise that buying a certain product will make us happy, or that we need to constantly seek out new pleasures to be truly fulfilled. However, this pursuit of endless pleasures can lead to a never-ending cycle of seeking external validation, which ultimately leaves us unfulfilled and searching for more.
In contrast, true happiness is often found within ourselves and in meaningful connections with others. It’s about cultivating a positive mindset, practicing gratitude, nurturing relationships, pursuing personal growth and purpose, and living in alignment with our values. It’s about finding joy in the present moment and appreciating the simple pleasures in life. When we shift our focus from chasing external pleasures to nurturing our inner selves and prioritizing meaningful experiences, we can cultivate a deeper and more sustainable sense of happiness.
In conclusion, it’s important to recognize that happiness is not equivalent to momentary delights or materialistic pursuits. Pursuing constant pleasure and external validation can often lead to fleeting happiness and even negative emotional states. True happiness is found within ourselves and in meaningful connections with others, and it’s about prioritizing personal growth, gratitude, and living in alignment with our values. By shifting our focus from external pleasures to nurturing our inner selves and prioritizing meaningful experiences, we can cultivate a more authentic and lasting sense of happiness in our lives.
3. You don’t have to bring down Your desires to accomplish satisfaction
You may have come across the idea that lowering your expectations can lead to greater happiness. The notion is that if you’re content with a $ 100,000-a-year job and don’t aspire to a $ 200,000-a-year job, then you’ll be happy. While this idea has some merit, it still associates happiness with superficial material desires.
In my view, the failure to meet our own expectations doesn’t necessarily lead to unhappiness. Instead, it’s important to embrace life in all its facets and learn from our mistakes. Mistakes are how we grow and become more resilient. It’s through taking action, making mistakes, and experiencing the ups and downs of life that we develop ourselves.
If we set our expectations too low, we may not fully embrace all that life has to offer. It’s only through experiencing sadness and the inevitable lows of life that we can truly appreciate and create happiness. Research has shown that setbacks and challenges can actually contribute to personal growth and resilience, leading to a deeper sense of well-being and fulfillment in the long run.
Moreover, true happiness is not solely dependent on external circumstances or meeting certain expectations. It’s about cultivating an inner state of contentment, gratitude, and resilience that allows us to navigate the ups and downs of life with grace and wisdom. It’s about finding meaning and purpose in our actions, relationships, and experiences, and learning from both the highs and lows to become better versions of ourselves.
In conclusion, while the idea of lowering expectations to achieve happiness may have some validity, true happiness goes beyond superficial desires and external circumstances. Embracing all that life has to offer, including mistakes and setbacks, is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment. It’s about cultivating inner resilience, gratitude, and purpose, and learning from life’s experiences to create a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
4. The Fallacy of Being Positive All the Time: Embracing the Full Range of Human Emotions
It’s a common misconception that being positive all the time leads to happiness. We’ve all come across individuals who always seem cheerful and optimistic, regardless of their circumstances. However, what may not be apparent is what they truly feel inside. Research has shown that people who deny or avoid negative emotions often end up emotionally distressed. The truth is, life can be tough, and everyone goes through difficult times. Negative emotions, such as sadness, anger, and fear, are a natural part of the human experience and play a role in maintaining emotional balance.
In fact, negative emotions are necessary for growth and self-awareness. They provide important feedback about our experiences and help us navigate challenges. Avoiding or denying these emotions can prevent us from full processing and resolving them, leading to unresolved emotional baggage. It’s important to acknowledge and accept our negative emotions without judgment or shame and find healthy ways to express and release them, such as talking to a trusted friend, practicing self-care, or seeking professional help if needed. By allowing ourselves to experience and process negative emotions in a healthy way, we can cultivate emotional resilience and well-being.
Embracing the full spectrum of our emotions, both positive and negative, allows us to have a more authentic and balanced experience of life. It’s okay to not be positive all the time, and it’s important to give ourselves permission to feel a range of emotions without guilt or shame. By accepting and integrating our emotions, we can develop a healthier relationship with ourselves and others, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling and meaningful life. Remember, it’s not about being positive all the time, but rather about embracing and processing the full range of human emotions in a healthy and mindful manner.
5. What is bliss? Experience, which means, and satisfaction
Happiness is not solely derived from momentary pleasures, but rather from the experiences and meaning we find in life. Starting a business with friends, facing challenges, making mistakes, and learning from them can bring a deeper sense of fulfillment and joy compared to simply buying material possessions like a new computer. Despite the inevitable hardships, it is the pursuit of meaning and satisfaction that ultimately grants us true happiness, regardless of the number of positive emotions involved.
The pursuit of happiness is not solely based on fleeting moments of pleasure, but rather on the quest for meaning and satisfaction. It is not completing a marathon that brings happiness, but rather the entire process of training and the journey to get there. True happiness is not dependent on external achievements or possessions but on our inner state of being our goals, values, and actions. Zen Buddhist Master Thich Nhat Hanh wisely said, “Our concept of bliss can often keep us from actually being happy”, highlighting the importance of being present at the moment and finding meaning in our current circumstances.
The pursuit of happiness can become elusive when we constantly seek external sources of joy and postpone our happiness to a future event or achievement. True happiness can only be experienced in the present moment, and it is futile to always say “I will be happy when I achieve this or that”. If we continue to chase future goals without appreciating the present, we may never truly find lasting happiness. Embracing the present, being content with who we are and what we have, and finding meaning in our current circumstances are key to experiencing true bliss and satisfaction in life.
In conclusion, true happiness is not solely dependent on avoiding negative emotions or constantly seeking positive experiences. It comes from meaningful experiences, personal growth, and finding purpose in our lives. Embracing the full spectrum of emotions, being present at the moment, and accepting ourselves as we are without constantly striving for external achievements are key to cultivating happiness. Rather than viewing happiness as a destination, it’s a journey to be experienced by living authentically, learning from challenges, and appreciating the present moment. Letting go of the notion of constantly chasing after happiness and finding contentment in the present can lead to a deeper sense of fulfillment and lasting happiness.

Sasindu Jayasri is an Engineering student from Sri Lanka and he studies mechanical engineering at the department of mechanical engineering at the University of Moratuwa. He is passionate about writing and giving inspiration to the world. Follow him in LinkedIn for updates and you can contact him directly.
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